Why you may not want to keep your options open

If you are strategic, or someone who makes decisions based on reasons, you are constantly weighing your options. This means anyone with a pitta predominance, by nature, is regularly evaluating "the best option" and a solid "plan B."

Optimizing leads to us "keeping our options open."

And what we don't acknowledge, is that it's an approach driven by our fear of failure, or our fear of missing out, or some other fear. 

Gripping, maneuvering, and trying to control external factors (e.g. logistics, other people's feelings) is a coping mechanism. It's when we are afraid of an outcome (like disappointing someone, or losing money) that we reach to strategize, and keep juggling options. 

In my twenties, I called this pattern of mine 'fear of commitment.'  I kept my options open so that I wouldn't miss out on "the best" one."  I thought this was a part of supporting my self worth, and being free, deserving of the best.

Alas, I was wrong. 

In my thirties, the pattern became known as lack of alignment. I began to recognize that my indecision was rooted in micro internal conflicts.

It also left me feeling exhausted, unclear, and trying to be perfect in meeting everyone's needs. I lost touch with my inner compass, and overrode my emotional guidance with fear based responses. 

No bueno. 

A healthier way

We can strategize and maneuver all we want, and we're going to attract experiences which match our vibrational state. I can't be feeling unsupported and victimized and attract experiences where I feel supported and empowered. I have to feel supported and empowered (at least a little more) first. The shift in our inner world is what we use to attract the shift in our outer experiences. 

The process of feeling you chose your best is not about the details of one option or the other. It's about including your emotional experience in the choice, and how good you choose to feel about your choice. 

If I want to attract the "best" for myself, I have to 

1. define what is "best' for me (which option would feel best?)

2. choose it and align with my choice

3. practice feeling how I would feel if I knew had the "best" option

For example, Option A will bring me certain qualities of energy, while Option B will bring a different cocktail of qualities. List out the likely qualities and feel how it would feel to take in those qualities - often a varied blend. Check in as to which set of qualities feels most nourishing, or "best." 

Let's say I go with Option A because it feels slightly better. My next task is to align with my choice and feel great about it. I do this by starting to feel how I would if I had the best version of Option A.

I monitor myself to align my words, my actions, my responses, my micro-decisions, my internal dialogue with feeling the best in Option A.

This is how I believe we truly optimize - by including emotional intelligence in selecting a choice, and then, embodying our desired experience, and choosing to have the best version of our experience within what we chose. 

Benefits

you stop feeling FOMO

you spend less time in indecision

you reclaim so much energy - which was spent in analysis and response

you get to feel your desired experience

you apply your "work" towards consistency, and this builds momentum

you feel good about your choices

you learn to trust you are exactly where you are meant to be

you learn to allow more

In the approach I'm putting forth here, we are maneuvering and optimizing our internal factors. This is opposite to the 'keeping options open' approach. We become more clear, less conflicted, lighter and easier. 

Perhaps most importantly, it's not until we are "both feet in" that we can feel an immersive, full, deep experience. These are internally harmonizing, life affirming, and allow us to develop deeper presence.